Recently we examined the idea of liquid modernity - the notion that we live in an era of choice. Many of us, especially in affluent societies, have the privilege of numerous options in different areas of life. From education and career, to family and leisure. But with so many options we might find ourselves facing some hard choices.
The philosopher Ruth Chang has looked closely how we make decisions and why we sometimes get mired in indecision. She suggests that when there is an easy choice, the decision is simple. For example, if we are trying to decide between two jobs, and our main objective is to maximize financial stability, we clearly go for the job with better pay. Decision done.
However, often it's not so simple, especially when two choices are 'on par', such that each choice has different benefits which make it attractive. Neither choice is particularly bad, so how do we know which one is better, especially over the long term? Do we resort to flipping a coin, letting fate decide, since we would likely not go wrong either way?
In these kinds of situations, Chang suggests that we pause and take the time dig deeper, to understand our own values and motivations more clearly. By doing so, we can assign more or less weight to the benefits and risks of the options in front of us. We can create our own meaning, our own very personal reasons for why one choice feels better, more appropriate, at a given point in time. And it is in creating these reasons that we get a better understanding of who we are.
Faced with the same choices - living in the country or the city, having a large family or a small one, taking a job close to home or abroad - two people might make very different decisions based on what is meaningful in the context of their particular lives.
We can also learn from how we have made decisions in the past. Did we make certain choices because we were bound by tradition or expectations? Or out of a need for safety and stability? Or because we craved a sense of novelty and excitement? Examining ones decision history, can be revealing and can help to shape how we make decisions in the future.
A simple but powerful tool to support self-inquiry and decision making is writing. The act of writing helps our brains to slow down, organize our thoughts, uncover our own irrationalities and examine decisions more objectively. Ofcourse with any decision, we can never fully know how things will turn out. But all we can do is take one step at a time and course correct along the way. In Rumi's words 'as you start to walk on the way, the way appears.'
So if you are grappling with a 'hard choice', why not give Ruth Chang's Ted Talk on the topic a listen? And perhaps take some time to write down your own reasons, create your own meaning, so you can move ahead confidently with whichever path you choose.