Mellow Drama...
...and how to relax into life.
One of my favourite books is "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff" by the late Richard Carlson. As an author, psychologist and therapist, Carlson has helped countless people with his relatable wisdom. His advice has stuck with me because of its simplicity. Throughout his work, there is a running theme about being more relaxed, mindful and peaceful.
Carlson suggests that being relaxed is counterintuitive in modern society, which sometimes seems to be all about rushing around in the name of productivity. While many people fear that relaxing into life might make them appear lazy, Carlson posits that the reverse is actually true. Relaxed people can get more done because they are operating from a centered and positive state of mind. There really is no glory in being excessively busy and flustered, nor is it helpful to our long-term physical and mental health.
Outside of being busy, if we are honest with ourselves, many of us get hooked on the drama of life. We get drawn in to the minutia of daily living and turn small things into big things. Sometimes our melodramas get so out of control, they take on a life of their own. Something that might have started as a small problem or a minor tiff, becomes all consuming. I think most of us can relate to this feeling of melodrama, where we blow things out of proportion to the point where we can't think about anything else. We get swept away by the emotions involved in a situation and become unable to function normally.
Here too, Carlson advises us to turn our melodramas into mellow-dramas. This funny turn of phrase, bubbles up in my mind frequently when I find myself getting wrapped up in a dysfunctional mental state about something relatively small. Ofcourse when I’m in the thick of my own drama, it is difficult to recognize that I am in a mental fog. But when that fog eventually lifts, I can see how I let myself get carried away by chasing irrational thoughts and feeding my own negative emotions.
There is no magic to relaxing except consistently following simple practical techniques like deep breathing, meditation, journaling or exercising. Being in nature can also help us mellow out, fill us with that sense of timelessness and much needed perspective. And surrounding oneself with other people who are calm, unhurried and positive can also be infectious.
So the next time you are feeling all worked up, ask yourself how you can calm down, smile and maybe take small things less seriously. Ask yourself how you can mellow a little, see the humour in life and perhaps even bring a sense of playfulness to a world so badly in need of it.