Bird by Bird

Thoughts on doing one thing at a time...

No matter our stage of life, busyness seems to be the affliction of our times.  From overscheduled children, to sandwich-generation adults, to retired seniors with full calendars.  With all this doing, how do we keep up without getting overwhelmed?  How can we see clearly through our frazzle when there is too much to do?  And why do we end up taking on so much in the first place, instead of focusing on a few important things?

To some extent, busyness is a state of mind.  I am reminded of a story recounted by author Anne Lamott in her best-selling book 'Bird by Bird - Instructions on Writing and Life'.  She describes a childhood scene where her 10-year old brother is sitting at their kitchen table in tears, amidst a mountain of papers and books on birds.  He had a school project on the topic, due the next day, and the sheer bigness of the work ahead had paralyzed him.  Seeing his predicament, their father offered help and a nugget of advice…"Bird by bird, buddy.  Just take it bird by bird."

This phrase has stuck with me, especially at times when I feel overwhelmed.  It captures the eternal wisdom that really, we can only ever do one thing at a time.  No matter how big a task is, it is made up of myriad smaller tasks. By taking a breath, focusing on one task, then another, we can chip away at something that feels insurmountable.  And be pleasantly surprised at our own productivity when we are not weighed down by our panic about getting things done.

Immersing ourselves deeply in something also allows us to invest our minds fully, rather than always thinking ahead to the end goal.  Instead of just 'getting through' things or seeing them merely as a means to some greater end, we can value and honour each thing in itself - ‘das ding an sich’ as they say.

After all, a runner cannot get to the finish line without taking each step along the way, one as important as the next.  A surgeon cannot save a life except one incision, one suture at a time.  And as many parents know, while raising children can feel like a big and daunting job, they ultimately grow up one giggle and one tearful tantrum at a time. 

Often in life, it is from children that we can learn the most.  The magic of children, especially very small ones, is that they aren't thinking about growing up as a big job at all.  They are in the moment, playing, eating, fighting, laughing.  It isn't really until they are older that they start to get a sense of their responsibilities.  Maybe if we equip them with the ability to tackle those responsibilities 'bird by bird', we can help them manage their own future stresses more skillfully.  And perhaps teach ourselves to do the same along the way.